all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
