That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
