i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
