I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
