i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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