You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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