last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
