if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think your dad took our porno
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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