jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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