I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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