So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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