Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
