I just made out with a guy for $7.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
