I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
