I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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