And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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