i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
