do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
