You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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