They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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