CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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