so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
