Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
