So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
