I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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