It's Friday. Sex?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize