AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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