The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
