Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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