why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
wow bdsm is so cute
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
