she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
