and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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