i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
