this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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