now i know why i became what i already was.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize