Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
