That's when you crack a 10am beer
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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