Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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