whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize