hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize