is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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