Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
