Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
