Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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