i just google imaged poop.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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