dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
