Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize