I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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