You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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