i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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