Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
