I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i think i just lost a toe
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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