Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my shit smells like andre
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
