I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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