She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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