before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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