But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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