Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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